Repetition
by ChappedLipsFingertips
Summary: Peggy finds herself in a strangely familiar situation following Don and Ted's departures.
1. Chapter 1

_"I don't want a scandal. I can wait."_

It started the week before Christmas.

Peggy had gotten into a fight with Stan on Monday, as he wasn't ready to have Peggy tell him what to do so soon after he'd lost an opportunity to go out West and make it big on his own. He had ended up slamming her office door (or, was it Don's still?) on his way out while she was in the middle of an apology.

On Tuesday morning, Roger walked into her office casually announcing that it was up to her to throw together a presentation for Hershey's by the next afternoon since they hadn't found a campaign they liked more than Don's first pitch. She spent all day with Ginsberg and a stoic Stan, putting together a presentation that wouldn't be approved by anyone but her.

And on Wednesday, a half hour before Hershey's was due to arrive, Peggy heard a knock on her door while she was sitting in her office chair, bent over her wastebasket behind her desk. She tried to tell whoever it was on the other side to wait but instead, more of her breakfast came up.

"Peggy? What are you doing?"

Of course, it had to be Jim Cutler who showed up at her door unannounced.

Peggy sat up a bit, still holding the wastebasket in front of her face as an explanation.

"...Is it nerves?"

She heaved in response. Jim kept his distance, though he closed the door behind him.

"You don't have anything to worry about. It is a big account, but as long as you don't dive into a monologue about how you were raised by a prostitute -"

Peggy cut him off with one last violent gag.

"You'll be fine." He forced a smile, which she saw when she set the wastebasket back on the floor and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

Peggy nodded and cleared her throat. "I'm sure it's just jitters. Don didn't leave me with a very high hurdle to jump. With the original pitch, yes. But the second one? Not so much."

"Well, as long as you're sure you're okay," Jim said, before Peggy nodded. He then turned and opened the door, but turned back to glance at her down the length of his nose.

"Just remember. No whores." And with that, Jim shut the door behind him.

On Thursday afternoon, Peggy got the confirmation call from Hershey's. Joan insisted they all celebrate with champagne, but Peggy got a knot in her stomach and couldn't drink any, knowing that she'd have to talk to Ted after the holidays about the account.

And on Friday, as Peggy was moving important dates onto her calendar for the new year, she realized she was late. Two weeks late. She checked the days five times before she had to admit that there was no mistake, no coincidence, and no stroke of luck. She was undeniably late.

Peggy slammed the calendar shut and tried to forget about the whole thing. It would come sooner or later - she was just stressed. That was it. That had to be it. And she seemed to forget about it, coming in during the holidays every day to sort out Don and Ted's old accounts in an otherwise empty office.

But unfortunately, two days before New Year's, the nausea resurfaced and Peggy admitted defeat, heading to the emergency room since she knew her physician's office was closed through the holidays. She must have been having a nervous breakdown. Maybe they could give her something for the nerves. Valium would probably help. Lots of Valium.

At the nurse's station, Peggy played up the nausea and insomnia that had surfaced since she'd been promoted. She mentioned the change in her job and her terrible living situation. The nurses took her blood and agreed that stress was probably the factor since she was a working woman in a man's world. They put her in a room with extra pillows and gave her ice water until the doctor could come and visit. Peggy had never felt so pampered and relieved in her life. What was happening to her was normal. The nurses suspected stress.

Peggy had pushed the possibility of pregnancy out of her mind completely by the time the doctor came into her room, but déja vu hit when the first word out of his mouth was, "Congratulations."

Peggy left the hospital in a daze, stumbling out of a cab and into her apartment a while later. She stood in her living room, staring at the same place she did on the wall when Ted was there - the horrible seam of wallpaper that was starting to lift underneath the picture frame hung over it.

She turned away after a while and sat next to her phone, staring at it for a while before dialing a number. She put the receiver to her ear and held her breath. On the fifth ring, someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Don?" She inhaled sharply.

"Peggy? Are you crying?"

Peggy wiped at her cheeks and sure enough, tears were running down them.

"I vomited in your office."

"What?"

Peggy paused. She didn't really know why those were the first words out of her mouth, but she couldn't think of anything else to say. In fact, she didn't even know why she had really called Don, either.

"I vomited in your office," she repeated. "Hershey's asked for another meeting and right before it, I got sick. Cutler walked in on me. That was weird."

She could hear Don chuckle a little on the other end. "So did you get the account?"

"Yes, but only because they were so in love with your first pitch."

"That's not true," she heard him say on the other end before they both fell into silence for a few moments.

"I didn't…" She paused and held her breath for a second, closing her eyes. The real reason for her needing to talk was trying to sneak its way out, and she was losing control of keeping it at bay. "It wasn't nerves before the meeting."

Don stayed silent for a second, and Peggy figured he was trying to connect her thoughts.

"Are you sick?"

"No." Peggy inhaled deeply. "I'm pregnant."

The weight that she expected to lift off of her stayed despite saying the words. She tried to close her eyes and picture Don in his office, sitting in front of her for this conversation. He didn't even need to touch her at all to comfort her. Just being able to see his expression soften would have helped her feel less isolated.

"Should I congratulate you?"

"No." She held back a sob. "Ted's the father."

"What? But then…" She nodded, knowing he was figuring it out.

"Oh God, Peggy. I shouldn't have let him go."

"No, it's okay. You didn't know. You did the right thing."

"I'm not sure about that."

Peggy sighed. She didn't want Don to feel guilty at all. That wasn't what this discussion was about.

"I'm sorry I just unloaded this on you, but… I just needed to tell someone."

Don was quiet for a moment, and Peggy decided to picture him smiling in the silence, knowingly.

"I understand," he finally said.

Peggy suddenly realized she'd forgotten her manners in their tender moment. She shook her head as she spoke.

"How are you doing? I can't believe I just dove right in without asking first."

"I'm adjusting."

"The office isn't. It's not the same without you there." She stifled a yawn. "What time is it?" She heard rustling on the other end of the phone.

"A little before midnight."

"Oh, I should let you get going. I'm sorry for calling so late."

"Happy new year, Peggy."

She smiled as her eyes filled with fresh tears.

"Happy new year, Don."

Peggy hung up the phone and stared at the wall again. She could feel Ted's lips on hers, his fingertips crawling down her sides, and his breath hot on her neck and collarbone. She could feel him everywhere but the pit of her abdomen, where the only part of him remained.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Well aren't you lucky to have decisions."_

Everyone came back to work the day after New Year's, which surprised Peggy when she walked in. Ginsberg approached her right at the door, causing her to jump when she turned around.

"What are you doing here?" she managed, after swallowing back the shriek that had threatened to escape.

"What do you mean, what am I doing here? Didn't you get Cutler's memo about coming in today?" Ginsberg adjusted his stance. "Why, were you expecting to come in by yourself today? What were you going to be doing here?"

Peggy tightened her grip on the folder she had been carrying in.

"I was just planning on catching up with my work."

Ginsberg folded his arms. "The accounts? That's why we're all here, too. There's been problems trying to manage everything. Sunkist is starting to fall through, and Hershey's is turning out to be a little much for everyone to handle during the fallout around here. And don't mention Chevy around Roger unless you want to see him keel over."

Peggy frowned. "I didn't think it was that bad," she challenged.

Ginsberg stepped back, opening his arms to gesture for her to continue into the office.

"See for yourself."

Peggy wandered down the hall, to discover that hardly any of the secretaries were there. The only people she had seen by the time she got to her office were the creative team. They were all hunched over work in deep concentration, something rare in that department. Part of her wanted to check in on them, but when she set down her things, she decided it was probably best for her to pay a visit to the partners.

However, as soon as she cut the corner to the conference room she saw Ted in his signature turtleneck and suit jacket, sporting the start of a tan on what little skin was showing. Peggy's breath caught in her throat and she backed up slowly, but not inconspicuous enough to keep from catching his glance.

Their eyes met and she saw his expression register with a small amount of shock. Peggy retreated more, feeling every muscle in her body tighten in the process. She didn't realize she was moving until she knocked straight into Ken.

"Peggy?"

She turned around and Ken grabbed her by the shoulder as she blinked rapidly, trying to hold back tears.

"Are you okay?"

Peggy shook her head and started to hurry down the hall just as she heard the conference door open.

"I know things are bad around here," she heard Ken yell after her. "But there's no need to panic!"

Peggy hurried into her office and grabbed her purse, knocking over a few things on her desk in the process. She then raced out of the office and smashed the elevator button repeatedly.

But Ted was too fast. The door to Sterling Cooper & Partners swung open well before the elevator ever had a chance to get to her. Peggy turned on her heel to head towards the stairs, but Ted had grabbed a hold of her arm before she could get anywhere.

"Let go of me," she hissed, trying to pull free of his grasp.

"We need to talk," he insisted, tightening his hold until she finally stopped squirming and turned to look at him scornfully.

"What are you even doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in California, patching things up with your wife?" Peggy could feel her pulse in her ears as she watched the muscles in Ted's jaw tighten.

"Things aren't going as smoothly as we thought they would. I came back to help iron out some kinks." Part of her hoped he was also referring to his marriage.

"Then shouldn't you be in there with all them doing that?" She gestured towards the office doors with a quick flick of her hand.

"I was, but then…" Ted trailed off and sighed. "Are you okay, Peggy?"

She wanted to roll her eyes, but instead she could feel them start to sting in anticipation for a good cry. She looked away. She was tired of answering that question lately.

"I'd be fine if I could leave. Apparently, I was kept in the dark about whatever shit storm is brewing this week, so I don't think I'm needed here, right?"

"Cutler decided not to tell you. He said you seemed to be… suffering from the stress lately."

Peggy's eyes found their ability to roll again. She didn't peg Cutler as the type to gossip, but then again, she had caught him spying on sex so she supposed she couldn't be all that surprised with his actions anymore.

"I think I was allowed to be scared before the Hershey's meeting, considering what happened the last time they were here."

Ted nodded, though his eyebrows were still knit.

"I told them I needed air." He said as Peggy looked down, realizing he had his coat hung over his forearm. "Can we go get coffee or something? I don't want to be here, but we need to discuss the recent changes."

Peggy pursed her lips. She didn't want to be there either, and despite how angry she was with Ted, he still felt familiar. She decided it was her hormones that made her nod in response, and perhaps her sudden craving for some carbs.

"We're only discussing accounts," she reminded him when they stood next to each other in the elevator. She glanced out of the corner of her eye and could see him smile.

They ended up at diner 8 blocks away because Ted said he had missed it since he'd been gone. Because of the lengthy walk, Ted had insisted Peggy wear his coat when she shook from the January chill. Hershey's took up most of their discussion over stacks of pancakes and orange juice in a corner booth. Peggy made sure to tuck her feet underneath her as best as she could so that there would be no chance of touching him.

He glanced at his watch as they were ending their talk about target audiences.

"It's already noon," he said, his eyebrows rising almost comically. He flagged down the waitress for the check. But as the waitress came by, Peggy intercepted it.

Ted opened his mouth but Peggy cut him off with a single determined look. He put his hands up in front of him in response and grinned. Peggy concentrated on retrieving her wallet to keep herself from doing the same.

As they left the diner together with Ted in front, he halted at the door. Peggy frowned and glanced around him to see what he was looking at. While they'd been eating a blanket of snow had covered the sidewalk, an inch or two now built up. Ted glanced down at her shoes.

"We're getting a cab," he insisted.

Peggy followed him with reluctance, though as soon as she took a few steps outside and the snow seeped into her heels, she was happy he was taking charge. They climbed into the backseat of a cab after a few moments, and she spent the time he took telling the driver the office's address to brush the snow that had collected on her shoulders off.

"You missed some," Ted told her, reaching out and brushing some off of her hair. His hand paused, his fingertips resting on her scalp. They stared at each other in shock. Peggy felt a burning in her stomach as Ted pulled away quickly, holding his hand with the other in his lap.

"Here's good," she said loudly to the driver despite the fact that they'd only moved a block.

The cab jolted to a stop and she jumped out before she could get confused glances from either of the male occupants. Peggy scanned the sidewalk, and spotted an alleyway next to an apartment building a few feet to her left. She ran for it, not stopping until she was behind a pile of cardboard boxes, leaning over the pavement with one hand propped against the cold bricking of the building.

Ted's footsteps came as she was breathing heavily, trying to quell the sick feeling in her stomach.

"Peggy?" She stared at what she could see of her feet and noticed her stockings soaking through from the snow.

"Did I upset you?" She could now see the tips of his shoes in her peripheral. "What happened?"

She shook her head as best she could, knowing that too much movement would surely cause her to lose control of her queasiness.

"I think I'm going to be sick," she managed through shaky breaths.

"Do you want some privacy?" he asked after a few moments, during which she could feel her face pale. She shut her eyes tight and nodded.

"Okay. I'll be right over there if you need anything."

Peggy didn't look to see where he was gesturing and instead focused on breathing in time to the blaring horns on the street nearby. After what she supposed were a handful of minutes, she felt better enough to stand. The small victory over her nausea was enough to build the courage required to find Ted again. She turned and saw him, leaning against the wall right near where they had entered, drawing circles in the snow with his toes. She approached him slowly.

"Feeling better?"

She lamely shrugged her shoulders.

"Was it…" he trailed off, and she could see him turn red. He looked down at his feet for a moment before looking back up at her. "Touching you didn't do that, did it?"

Peggy sighed. He looked genuinely upset. She shook her head, her damp hair sticking to her neck.

"Maybe you should take some time off, too," he suggested.

"Oh, so you're going to basically fire me along with Don just because of what you and everyone else is misinterpreting as stress?"

"We didn't fire Don."

"He doesn't have a return date," Peggy challenged, folding her arms over her stomach which was starting to churn again. Ted shifted his stance.

"What is it then? Is it because of what happened…" Ted paused to breathe. "Between us?"

"Yes." Her voice was small and wavering. She hadn't planned on telling him yet, but the word escaped before she had time to decide on a reply.

Ted looked as if he'd been kicked in the gut. Peggy felt a split second of satisfaction, knowing that he felt guilty.

"Look, Peggy," Ted rubbed at his chin and Peggy felt herself stiffen at the idea of some consolation speech. She took the three steps required to break the distance between the two of them and then gingerly took the hand that wasn't rubbing at his chin with both of hers. She guided it carefully to her abdomen and closed her eyes as she pressed his hand flat against the fabric. She could feel the jolt that coursed through her veins from the warmth of his hand, and tried to tell herself that the burning sensation in her stomach was anger.

Ted stared at her wide eyed as she took his hand. But after she opened her eyes, his face registered with shock and he pulled his hand back as if it'd been placed on a burning stove. He stumbled back a step, staring directly at her stomach.

"It's…" Ted seemed to lose his ability to talk, and only gestured toward himself.

Peggy nodded.

She felt her heart drop when Ted stared at the sky and then dragged both of his hands down his face. Peggy's chin trembled when he finally looked back at her, his eyes filled with tears.

"I'm keeping it," she told him with a wavering voice. She hadn't quite decided on anything, but the thought of giving another baby up made her squeamish.

Ted nodded and Peggy watched as a single tear tracked down his cheek.

"How long have you known?"

"Four days? I think?" Peggy sighed. "I can't keep track of what day it is."

"I don't…" he started, dragging a hand down his face to wipe away the moisture. "I… Oh God, I have to tell Nan."

Peggy felt herself pale as she watched Ted rest both of his hands on the top of his head as he paced, staring up at the snow as it hit his face.

"I think I might throw up, too," he said, stopping his pacing. She watched him place a hand on his mouth and breathe deeply. He then pulled his hand away throwing it in her direction as he suddenly looked angry. "Going away was supposed to be a clean break!"

Peggy backed up when he started to yell.

"I was supposed to forget that any of this ever happened! I was supposed to be able to fix my marriage. And now…" Ted trailed off to gesture haphazardly at her stomach.

Peggy's face crumpled. Ted frowned in response as she started to shamelessly cry in the alleyway.

"Oh Peggy," he murmured, taking a step towards her, but she turned away.

"I'm so sorry," he said, and she could hear his voice crack. She glanced back at him to see that he was crying again.

Desperate to feel some sort of contact, Peggy broke the distance between them, settling into Ted's careful embrace. She wasn't sure how long they stood there in the first snow of the new year, crying where no one would notice them as they rushed by.


	3. Chapter 3

_"I don't want anyone else to have you."_

On the morning of Valentine's Day, Peggy met Don for coffee in a small shop near her house. The inside was run down, and she was glad to see when he walked in that he had dressed accordingly. She certainly didn't want to feel responsible for him getting mugged.

He smiled when he recognized her, but it was hard to keep her smile on her face when he sat in front of her and she could see how sunken the features on his face were. They had been talking over the phone quite often as she adjusted to taking over for him and they each looked for a support system, but she had yet to see the physical toll Don's life had taken on him recently.

"You're looking radiant," he told her with a smirk, and she shook her head.

"I still haven't beaten the round-the-clock queasiness, so I know I look worse for wear. But thanks for trying."

Don ordered their coffee when the waitress interrupted them.

"So," Peggy started once he was pouring his milk into the cup. "How's Megan doing in California?"

Don pursed his lips. "Not sure. I haven't heard from her in a few weeks."

Peggy sighed and took a sip of her coffee before grimacing, and reaching for the sugar. She could certainly sympathize with Don.

"I know what that's like," she said as she stirred the sugar in. "I still haven't heard from Ted."

Don's eyebrows raised, and he paused mid-sip, holding his cup in front of his mouth. He smacked his lips loudly when he set the cup back on its saucer.

"Really? You haven't heard from him since you told him?"

Peggy nodded and stared down at the drink in front of her. It stung a bit to be reminded that Ted had basically blown her off again.

"I don't really know what to expect with all of this. Last time I heard, he was telling his wife."

"It doesn't take this long to leave your wife," Don told her, inhaling deeply. "If I know one thing, it's that Ted Chaough doesn't function well under pressure."

Peggy smiled sadly. He was right.

"Maybe if we run an ad in the LA Times with his name in it, I can get him to call me with his Kennedy impression." Peggy raised her eyebrows and smirked, though she could feel her eyes prick with tears. Lately, crying was all she felt like doing. She wanted to blame just the hormones, but she knew Ted's growing absence would have upset her regardless of whether or not she was carrying his baby.

But the joke fizzled out when Don took Peggy's hand in his, and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles before resting it across her fingers. Peggy squeezed his hand tighter, and he smiled at her before using his other hand to pick up his coffee cup.

She had never felt closer to another person.

As Peggy entered the office a while later, she tried to remember what Don's goodbye hug felt like, since it'd been the first time she'd been embraced after Ted had left. Even though it had been completely platonic, she couldn't shake the smell of Don's aftershave and the warmth of his chest out of her mind.

However, they were the last thing on her mind when she opened Don's office door to find Ted sitting on the couch. She felt her stomach drop, but made sure to keep a straight face as he stood, buttoning his suit jacket.

"Don't think that showing up today of all days is going to be your get out of jail free card," she told him flippantly, setting her purse down on her desk. She turned towards him and folded her arms.

"I'm moving back."

Peggy scowled. "Oh, but you couldn't tell me that over the phone at any point in the last six weeks? You had to keep me waiting for some big surprise with your suitcases in hand?"

"There was a lot going on," Ted said, frowning. "Nan tried to reconcile, but ended up not being able to."

"So there was a chance you were never going to come back, and you didn't even bother telling me?"

"Peggy, I have a - I have kids with her," he told her with a sigh.

"Okay, so if I had two kids with you, I'd become a priority? This is a numbers game now?"

Ted laughed incredulously. "Peggy, I'm trying, okay? I just moved them all out to California, just to tell them that I'd gotten another woman pregnant? There's no easy way to break it to them. And then, I had to call the realtor to make sure the house hadn't sold yet so they could move back here, too."

"Just in case you change your mind, right?" Peggy shot back as she felt herself start to shake.

"I don't know what you want from me," he shouted, and Peggy flinched.

"A phone call would have been great." She could feel her chin trembling as she raised her voice. "You know, not leaving me completely in the dark. I wasn't sure if I should move on or stay here waiting for you, even though I had no idea if you'd ever come back."

"I'm here now," he said, taking a step toward her. She noticed his wedding ring was missing from his left hand, and the tan he'd gotten before was already fading.

"Yeah, well you've missed a lot," she said, unbuttoning her coat. As she removed it, she watched Ted's eyes travel down to her stomach, where the fabric of her dress was pulled taut.

"You're already starting to show?"

"Of course I am - I'm three months as of today." She hung her coat on the hook and turned to see Ted swallow hard, his eyes wide and sad-looking.

"Does anybody know yet?"

"Here? No. They probably just think I'm gaining some after-holidays weight. The only ones that know are Don and my mother, who isn't happy about it at all, mind you. I told her we'd been dating just to shut her up. So you either need to die, or meet her in the next few weeks."

"Don knows?" Ted suddenly looked angry.

"Yeah. We talk." Peggy shrugged.

"You and Don Draper talk? Talk how?"

"You're not allowed to get upset over who I talk to when you haven't said a single thing to me in well over a month."

"But I don't trust him!" Ted folded his arms over his chest, and Peggy briefly wondered if that was to keep himself from knocking what was left of Don's off of her desk.

"Don gave me everything," Peggy said, her voice thick with emotion.

"Yeah, but he didn't give you that," Ted said, gesturing to her stomach. However, as soon as the words left his mouth, he instantly looked like he regretted it.

"Leave," Peggy told him, blinking back tears. Even though Don wasn't perfect by any standard, she knew he wouldn't have left her alone like this. At this point, she would have rather the baby been his.

Ted stared at her wide-eyed as she turned on her heel and walked around her desk to sit in her chair. She propped her elbows on the surface of the desk, and rested her forehead in her hands.

"Peggy, if I could take it all back, I would. I would have never gone home -"

She looked up at him, and he stopped speaking. She shook her head and her eyes filled with tears.

"I know I messed up," he said, taking another step towards the desk. "But I really want to start new with you."

Peggy heaved a shaky sigh. She kept the tears at bay, even though her vision was blurred by them.

"How do I know I can trust you? Three months ago, you were promising vacations and plans that never happened. How do I know this time you won't just leave again?"

Ted tapped his knuckles down on the surface of her desk, and she watched him stare at the wood for a moment, taking a deep breath. When he looked at her, the sincerity echoed the time he'd told her he loved her.

"Because this time I'm asking you to move in with me."

Peggy opened her mouth to retort immediately, but Ted put a hand up.

"It's a two-bedroom. I'm not trying to force you into anything. I just don't want you living in that building anymore."

Peggy bit her lip. She did want to leave the apartment, but moving in with Ted felt like a decision she might regret. Then again, living with him would make it harder for him to disappear.

"You don't have to decide now. Just... let me take you out to dinner," he said, when she didn't respond.

"Not tonight," Peggy said, finally finding her voice again.

"Okay. How about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," Peggy said, nodding.

They stared at each other for a few moments, until Ted licked his lips and tapped his fist on her desk again.

"It's really good to see you again," he told her, before seeing himself out of her office.

As soon as he was gone, Peggy turned to the drink cart and poured herself some of Don's leftover whiskey. She went to drink it, but then pulled it away from her lips and poured it out in her trashcan. She held the empty glass tight in her hands and turned to the window, staring at the sidewalk below, wondering how long it would take to fall to the pavement. At this point, it felt like death was the only way to escape the constant push and pull between the love and utter disappointment she felt for Ted. She closed her eyes, and tried to pretend she was standing on the edge of the roof.

Until Dawn's voice came over the intercom.

"Miss Olsen? I have Mrs. Chaough on the phone for you."

Peggy turned around to face her desk so quickly that she was certain she might have gotten whiplash. She pressed the button to intercom back.

"Excuse me?" She could feel herself starting to tremble.

"Mr. Chase, from Hershey's? He's on the phone. Should I transfer the call?"

"Yes, yes, of course," Peggy said, the words tumbling out of her mouth, after she was able to catch her breath again. She never imagined being relieved to hear that Hershey's was on the line for her. Peggy put a hand to her chest and felt her pounding heart, realizing that Nan Chaough held the entire future in her hands.


	4. Chapter 4

_"You're the same person sometimes."_

"I want Don back when I leave," Peggy told the partners, with her legs crossed and her hands resting on her stomach, which had grown quite a bit more in the past four weeks. It was now impossible for her to fit her old clothing, so she'd gone maternity shopping with her sister for new clothes.

Unfortunately for Peggy, the maternity section of stores didn't cater to the working woman so she had been reduced to housewife wear in the office. Today, she was sporting a sundress and a sweater on the brisk March afternoon, feeling more like a secretary than one of the creative directors.

Ted raised his eyebrows in the seat next to her and stared down at his lap.

"I'm not quite sure Don is ready to come back, dear," Jim said, having taken to demeaning her since she'd started dressing like his wife.

Peggy rolled her eyes and looked directly at Roger, who had been avoiding her glance until it had landed right on him.

"Oh come on. You guys are going to hand the reins over to what's-his-name? The guy Duck hired? Roger, Duck is incompetent and the guy he handed to us is equally so. I'm doing at least eighty percent of the work as it is, and then I'm re-doing everything he does, too. We didn't bring him with us six years ago for a reason."

Roger cleared his throat. Peggy knew his loyalties lied with Don, and he was probably the last one (except for maybe Joan) to agree that Don needed to take some times off.

"We did let go of Duck," Roger agreed, staring at his folder in front of him rather than at any of the partners.

"I just would feel more comfortable leaving knowing that someone who is more than capable of the job was here instead of me," Peggy said, trying to appeal to the partners' sensibility.

"He has been gone for four months now," Joan added, tapping her pen on the surface of the table twice before she spoke.

"But he threw away an account," Jim reminded them, raising his eyebrows and lifting a hand up to gesture the act of throwing.

Jim's glance moved over to Ted, who cleared his throat and sat up.

"He has a point," Ted said. "We don't want to risk another… outburst."

Peggy could feel her blood pressure raise a few notches. She knew that Jim was the one who'd need convincing, but for Ted to take his side was shocking.

"Okay, so we've got Pete and Harry in California full-time, and Ken and Bob are out there at least a week every month. Who in the hell do you think can take over around here?" She stared at Ted directly. "Because creative is a job for two people now, and you want someone who knows what they're doing here."

Jim tapped his fingers on the table and cleared his throat. "Well, it seems that Peggy, Joan and Roger are willing to bring Don back." Joan and Roger both looked at each other and then nodded slowly.

Jim stood and buttoned his jacket. He turned to Roger.

"I suppose you should be the one to deliver the good news," Jim said. "But if this screws us over, I'm holding you all personally responsible."

Peggy could feel her blood boil over as she followed Ted back to his office, slamming the door behind her.

"What the hell was that?"

"I think I should be asking that question," Ted said, starting to go to his desk, but pausing and turning to her. "You're vouching for Don?"

"It's time to pay him back," Peggy told him, starting to feel her eyes well with tears at the thought of even coming close to helping Don the way he'd helped her.

"Oh for Christ's sake, Peggy. You don't owe him nearly as much as you think you do."

"But you owe me! You didn't back me up at all! This entire situation is half your responsibility, and yet you're trying to make it harder for me. I'm trying to fix everything and you're just standing there doing nothing!"

Peggy heaved in a breath, realizing she was starting to shake.

"You think I don't want to help you out? Peggy, they all think I have my head up your ass. So if I don't jump to take your side, it's to make us look credible." Ted licked his lips. "It's weird for them to have a couple at the top of the workplace. Intentions get skewed."

Peggy wanted to correct him and point out that they hadn't had a single romantic interaction since he'd left for California. No kissing, no stolen glances, and certainly no sex. He'd only offered her hugs when she was crying and willing to accept them simply for comfort. But she knew he was well aware of their current situation, since they'd been living together for a few weeks now and the constant tension at home was almost unbearable.

"Don and Megan worked out fine. Sure, it took a while for all of us to get used to it, but really, everyone from SCDP has no real issue with it. This is between you and Cutler, isn't it?"

"The only reason Don got away with it is because no one had the balls to tell him no!"

Peggy flinched.

"Well, the numbers have been dropping since he's been gone," she pointed out, her voice reflecting how annoyed she was. "He's the heart and soul of this company, like it or not. He did what he wanted because none of us could work without him."

She could see the muscles in Ted's jaw tighten.

"Don's not the enemy," she reminded him. "He's an essential part of the company. And until you realize that we need him, this is going to be a constant struggle that I frankly don't care to be a part of."

She folded her arms across her chest and watched as Ted swallowed thickly and then nodded.

"You're right," he told her, though she felt no satisfaction from him admitting it this late in the game. "Look, Peggy, I'm sorry -"

"You need to stop apologizing for things, and just start doing the right thing the first time." She bit the inside of her lip. "I'm tired of being an after thought. I can't be an after thought."

Ted looked as if he were going to cry. Peggy decided it was time to cut the conversation short.

"I'm going home to take a nap. Pick up a pizza on your way home?"

"Sure," Ted managed before Peggy broke the distance between the two of them and wrapped her arms around his torso. She felt him freeze under her touch until she buried her face in his shirt. He then rested his arms across her back.

"I need to know you're on my side," she told him, speaking against his shirt. She felt his lips rest on her head, and she shut her eyes as a spark traveled down to her toes.

"I am," he reassured her, his breath hot on her scalp.

"Then prove it to me," she told him, as she left a few moments later.

That weekend, Ted's sons came to the city to stay with them for the first time since the split. Ted had gone to pick them up from his old house while Peggy stayed to make them dinner. She had never been so nervous to serve dinner before and she couldn't tell if it was because she anticipated that ten and seven-year-old boys were picky, or if she was genuinely afraid that she wouldn't make a good impression.

She was sitting at the set table, still wearing an apron over her housedress and just about ready to dig through her dresser drawers for her emergency cigarette stash when she heard the door open. She quickly stood and smoothed out her clothes as Ted herded the two boys into the house.

"I want you two to meet Peggy," he told them, setting down their bags by the couch. The two boys, according to Ted's recap of their phone call, were excited to have a sleepover on the living room floor for a night.

"This is Sam," Ted said, gesturing to the eldest boy who simply smiled at Peggy.

"And this is Ricky." Ted put a hand on the youngest boys' shoulders, and he shyly said hello, showing off his missing front teeth.

"Did you cook all of this?" Sam asked, picking a seat across from where Peggy had been. Despite the fact that they had a table big enough for six, she had only set the two seats on each side, leaving the heads of the table open. She figured the boys probably would have preferred to sit next to each other rather than her.

Peggy removed her apron as she nodded politely.

"Wow," Ricky mused, taking his seat next to Sam. "All for us?"

Ted was all smiles when he took the seat next to Peggy and immediately began to carve the roast chicken that sat in the center of the table. Peggy knew that Nan had stopped doing much around the house towards the end of the marriage, but she hadn't expected the boys to be so appreciative of a home-cooked meal.

"She was very excited when I told her that you two were coming," Ted explained.

She began to serve the mashed potatoes and green beans on each of the boys' plates as they helped themselves to the bread and butter set out in front of them. She glanced over at Ted as she passed him each plate and he served chicken on it before handing it to each boy. He looked so happy in that moment, as his children talked about school. She tried to commit the image to memory.

As they ate, Peggy listened to the boys talk about their friends and school, prompting only a few questions, such as what grade they were in (Sam was in fourth, Ricky in first), and their favorite sports (both liked soccer - Sam played on a team, and Ricky liked practicing with Sam in their backyard). She met every answer with enthusiasm, and the boys were eager to share more with her.

After everyone had cleaned their plates, Ted sent the boys to wash up in the bathroom and change into their pajamas before they were allowed to play the board games they had packed with them. Peggy had started to clear the table, and Ted helped after showing the kids where the bathroom was. When the dishes were in the sink, Ted reached for her hand. Peggy turned to him.

"I can't thank you enough for tonight," he told her, rubbing circles on her hand with his thumb. "Seeing you with the boys…" Ted trailed off and looked into space for a moment before turning his attention back to Peggy.

"They're such good kids. I really like them," Peggy told him with a smile.

With that, Ted leaned forward and kissed her for the first time since their late-night rendezvous that had resulted in the baby. Peggy kissed him back before pushing him away with a mischievous grin.

"We don't want to get caught by those two."

"They, uh…" Ted shrugged. "I told them you were going to be a part of the family soon. I'm pretty sure Sam has it figured out."

Peggy grinned, and then kissed him once more. The laughter of the boys now moved to the living room, and she pulled away.

"Now help me wash the dishes," she told him, handing him an extra sponge. As they scrubbed together while the kids played in the background, Peggy had never felt more at home. And as she dried the last of the glasses, she prayed that the feeling would never leave.


	5. Chapter 5

_"Then you see the beautiful, radiant young mother."_

"My mother takes Easter really seriously," Peggy warned, as she sat on Ted's bed while he dug through his closet to find the appropriate tie to wear when they attended the Easter Sunday service with her family the next morning.

Peggy hadn't really been in Ted's bedroom yet, since the most they'd done in the past few weeks was steal kisses in the kitchen after meals and on the couch during commercial breaks. It had been the first time since Peggy had accepted her job as a secretary that someone from work had courted her rather than brought her to bed right away. Tonight, he'd made her baked chicken for dinner and then insisted she help him pick out his tie to impress her mother, who he'd made a so-so impression with during their first meeting.

Truth be told, she liked the simplicity of their relationship, but it was getting harder to keep her hands to herself. So sitting on his bed with a view of his ass in blue jeans as he bent over to dig through a bin made her heart flutter.

Ted stood up to show her another tie and suddenly Peggy gasped, a tight feeling in her stomach making her reflexively put a hand on it. She felt pressure under her hand.

Ted dropped the tie and immediately was on his knees in front of her, a hand perched gently on her arm. He watched her carefully.

"The baby - I think it's kicking," she told him with a smile, grasping one of his hands with the one that wasn't busy feeling the movement underneath her skin. She placed it with hers and grinned when his face lit up.

"I can't believe we made a life together," she mused.

"Isn't it perfect?" he asked with a sentimental smile. Ted stared at her stomach and then directly at her when the movement died down.

"I'm so in love with you," he told her, before pressing both of his hands down on the mattress so he could rise up to kiss her passionately.

Peggy smiled against his lips and then brought her hands up to his cheeks. She guided his face away from hers only far enough that she could speak without his mouth getting in the way.

"Say it again," she begged, opening her eyes to look at his.

"I'm in love with you Peggy," he whispered before kissing her again.

Peggy's hands wandered to his shirt, a simple long-sleeved tee that he'd worn around the apartment all day. She grabbed fistfuls of the fabric, the first time she'd done so since the fateful night in her living room.

Ted's fingers rested on her hips, gingerly at first, but as Peggy began to lean back against his mattress, they grabbed on tighter. When she was fully reclined on his bed, one of his hands rested next to her shoulders. He was contorted a bit because of her stomach, but neither seemed to notice as their months' worth of built up passion was finally being released.

Simply making out wasn't cutting it for Peggy after a few minutes, so she snaked her hand down the front of Ted's shirt until she hit his belt. She wrapped her fingers around it, and Ted broke the kiss to look her in the eye.

"You're sure?" he asked her carefully, though his eyes were eager and his skin was flushed.

Peggy only nodded. He didn't need any other affirmation.

~•~•~•~

She was floating in a pool next to him, though he was a full arm's length away. The sun was setting behind the trees, but a humidity worse than any she'd felt in the city had settled in its place. Her bikini and the water did little to cool her off and she felt herself sweating, the moisture collecting between her breasts.

"The fireworks are going to start soon," she could hear him say, though it was muffled a bit by the water that rested in her ears as she floated.

"But tomorrow is Easter," she said, confused.

"Peggy, it's Labor Day. You're not pregnant anymore."

Suddenly, the floating was disorienting. She could taste his baked chicken in the back of her mouth and she tried to put her feet on the bottom of the pool, but a dizziness set in when she lifted her head.

His grip was suddenly tight on her shoulder, and she could feel one of his hands resting on her back. The water started to seep away until she could feel the sheets of Ted's bed, damp against her skin.

"Peggy? Sweetheart?"

She kept her eyes clamped shut as another wave of dizziness jolted her. His lips pressed against her temple, and the hand on her back lifted away to brush her hair from her face.

She tried to put a hand out in front of her to stabilize herself because she felt like she was swaying, but Ted's hand grasped it.

"Watch where you put your hands. You just finished throwing up on the blankets."

"What?" She willed her eyes open to see the mess she'd made all over his bed and his t-shirt that she'd put on before they'd fallen asleep.

Her stomach was suddenly hit with an intense cramping pain that worked its way up from the small of her back to her belly button. She gritted her teeth.

"You're running a fever. I tried to wake you to get you to take some aspirin, and you puked while you were half-asleep. Do you think you can walk to the bathroom so we can get you in a cold bath to help bring down your temperature?" He rubbed her back in small circles.

She nodded, though the pain in her abdomen wasn't subsiding. She didn't think the flu was going around, but maybe Ted's kids had brought a bug with them when they stayed the last weekend. It figured, too, that the first time she'd ever been in his bed, she ended up being horribly sick. She glanced at the clock to see that it was only a little before 6 in the morning.

"Oh God, church is only in a few hours," she croaked as Ted kept a grip on her and started to carefully push back the sheets in order to contain the mess as best as he could. "I have to call my mom."

"I'm sure she'll understand," he said, as he began to fold back the blankets covering her. "It's not like y - oh my god."

Peggy looked at Ted, who stared wide-eyed at her lap. Nervously, her eyes followed his until she was looking down between her legs.

Even in the minimal dawn light, it was clear that the dark liquid all over the sheets under her thighs was blood.

She completely froze as her mind raced, unable to focus on a single thought.

"Are… are you in pain?" He was gripping her tighter by the second. She felt the pressure in her arm, but she slowly started to lose feeling everywhere else.

When she nodded and doubled over from a sudden searing across her belly, she felt him start to get out of bed.

"We're taking you to the hospital, okay?"

She could hear his voice shake just like his hands did as he helped her up out of bed. He leaned down to get something, but Peggy couldn't see what it was. At first, she thought it was just her eyes adjusting to the light but then her vision started to fade. She reached her hand out for Ted's arm, but felt her entire body start to fall forward along with it.

The last thing she heard was Ted saying her name, though it sounded as if his voice was falling off a cliff.

"Peggy?"

She blinked rapidly, her eyes desperate to adjust to the bright lights. They watered impulsively until her vision came into focus.

Her eyes trailed down from the fluorescent lights to Ted's face, which was quite close to hers as he ran his fingers through her hair. His other hand held one of hers, and a quick glance at it showed an IV running out of the top of it. Peggy felt her face pale and quickly diverted her gaze to Ted.

Now that her vision was clearer, she could tell that he'd been crying. His eyes were red and watery, only getting worse by the second.

"It's September, right? Did I drown in the pool? I think I started to pass out." Her voice cracked as she spoke, and sounded so much quieter than she had intended.

Ted made a strange face and squeezed her hand. Peggy felt her stomach sink.

"Sweetheart, it's Easter. You…" He trailed off and looked at her hand, swallowing hard. When he looked back up at her, a tear started down his cheek.

"You had a miscarriage," he told her with a wavering voice. "And you have to deliver the baby. We've been waiting for you to wake up."

Peggy immediately shook her head and began to cry, prompting Ted to kiss her forehead, resting his lips there as he cried with her. They stayed like that for a few moments until a nurse appeared. Ted reluctantly pulled away when the young nurse cleared her throat.

"The drugs should be wearing off now, so it's time to push," she told Peggy, who blanched.

"Don't leave," Peggy begged, turning to Ted who gripped her hand tighter.

"He already pleaded enough to be in here while you slept," the nurse said, taking note of Peggy's vitals.

The doctor let himself into the room, putting gloves on as he looked at both Peggy and Ted with pity. Peggy choked back a sob.

"Are you ready?" the man asked, as the nurse began propping up Peggy's knees. She could feel herself start to panic, the déja vu of her first experience giving birth seizing her like a chokehold.

She turned to Ted, who squeezed her hand.

"I'm right here," he assured her, wiping at the remnants of tears still left on his face with his free hand. Peggy ran her thumb over his hand that was tightly holding hers. She inhaled, closed her eyes, and then faced the doctor, who was staring at her.

She nodded to him against her better judgement.


	6. Chapter 6

_"You can stay here, and have your life, and your career, and let this be the past."_

It took a full week for the intermittent bleeding to stop and for Peggy to realize that the miniature baby she had held wasn't part of a terrible dream. They had named him Nathaniel and they had held him, wrapped in blankets too big since he had only been roughly the size of a ruler.

When she closed her eyes, sometimes she could picture her first son in her arms instead of the baby who Ted held first because she was afraid she'd break him as she sobbed. She had left the hospital twice now with empty arms and the nightmares of both experiences had twisted themselves into each other like a knot that she'd never be able to untangle.

She had been sent home after two days of monitoring her fever to make sure there hadn't been an infection. Peggy had slipped in and out of consciousness during her entire stay and had no choice but to trust Ted when he said that both her mother and Don had visited, who Peggy apparently had insisted he call during one of her more coherent periods.

Peggy's mind had slipped away from her again when Ted knocked on her bedroom door.

"I'm home," he told her quietly, before walking in and sitting on the edge of her bed. He rested his hand on the blanket, right where her hip was.

"How was your first day back?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbows. Ted reached for one of his pillows that was beside her and placed it behind her. They hadn't slept in Ted's bed since, and he instead had taken the left side of her bed every night.

"Strange without you," Ted admitted before he ran a hand through her hair. "Don asked about you a lot. He started back on Wednesday."

Peggy gave Ted a small smile, and he reciprocated it. However, it only lasted a few seconds on his face before he asked the same question he'd been asking all week.

"How are you feeling?"

Her response had always been that she felt tired, but now that Ted was in front of her in his work clothes, her answer changed. He had gotten to have a day similar to the ones before the baby died, while she stayed at home, only more aware of how alone she felt.

"Empty."

Ted immediately reached for one of her hands and brought it to his lips. He closed his eyes.

She then squeezed his hand and slipped hers out of his grasp, using it to pull the sheets back on his side of the bed. Wordlessly, he stood and slid out of his clothes until he was only in his t-shirt and boxers. He climbed into bed with her and she snuggled against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He stared directly ahead of him at the ceiling while she stared at each of the hairs on his neck that he'd missed shaving that morning.

She looked up at him every once in a while to see that he was still fixed on the same spot on the ceiling. She wished she knew what he was thinking, but the sadness in his eyes that grew steadily ended up convincing her otherwise.

The next evening, Peggy forced herself out of bed for a shower before Ted got home. When he arrived, she was sitting on their sofa, wearing fresh pajamas and nursing a drink.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked, frowning as he set his briefcase by the door. He removed his suit jacket and threw it on the back of the nearby chair before running a hand through her hair.

"I'm not really drinking it. I've only had a sip or two," she said quickly, holding the glass out to him. He accepted it and took a small sip before taking a seat on the couch next to her.

"I needed it, to feel like myself again," she told him.

His eyebrows narrowed, and he rested the glass on his knee.

"I just…" she paused and bit her lip, her eyes watering.

He softened his glance at her, and she could feel anger bubble up in her throat. She was tired of being pitied.

"I realized something today while you were gone." She inhaled deeply. "What's keeping you from going home to Nan and the boys tomorrow? Or the next night? You could pack a bag of things while I was sleeping, and never come back."

"Peggy." Ted's expression had hardened again, but he said nothing. Instead, he sat up straighter.

"Just, the only reason you ever came back to me was because we were having a baby." She paused, trying to swallow back the tears that threatened to fall. However, she started to lose control after uttering her next phrase.

"And now we're not," she told him tearfully.

"Peggy, I love you. I'm not leaving. The boys adore you, I adore you." He reached for her hand, and she could see the muscles tighten in his jaw when his eyes started to water.

She watched him carefully, tears running down her cheeks. He set his glass on the coffee table so he could brush the moisture off her skin with his thumb.

"It's going to get better. I promise," he told her, straining his voice. "It's hard right now. It's hard for both of us." He was speaking in a husky whisper, and she felt a shiver work its way up her back.

"But you're going to go back to work as soon as you're feeling up to it, and it's going to be okay. Things will be normal again."

When he said it, Peggy didn't believe him. But the next week she returned to work, taking the position she'd had before Don left. She exchanged awkward greetings with Stan before making her way to Don's office while Ted was with a client.

"It's nice to have you back," Dawn told her as she knocked on Don's door and let herself in when he called for her to do so.

"It's nice to be back," she said, trying to seem convincing. She wasn't quite sure whether it was more for Dawn or herself.

Don was crushing a cigarette into the ashtray on his desk when she walked in. He tapped his fingers on an open folio resting next to the ashtray.

"The work you did with Hershey's is amazing," he told her.

She gave him a small smile and the slightest tilt of her head. She bit her lip. Don's smile immediately disappeared and his eyebrows knit together.

"Ted says you visited," Peggy told him with hesitation.

"He called me. I had no idea." Don's eyebrows raised, as he immediately jumped to defense.

"No, no," Peggy said, shutting her eyes as she shook her head and held an outstretched hand at her side. "I'm not questioning you, or anything." She inhaled and looked back at Don. "It's… well, Ted doesn't know how to handle it."

She could see Don let go of the breath he'd apparently been holding.

"I don't blame him."

"I never told him about the first time."

"Oh." Don turned to get a drink. He glanced over his shoulder to offer Peggy one, which she declined with the wave of her hand.

"It just hasn't come up."

She wrapped her arms around her midsection.

"I'm was starting to forget about it because we were so happy and excited, but now…" Peggy trailed off, and looked at Don with a sigh. He took a long sip of his drink and leaned against the cart full of bottles and glasses.

"Are you going to tell him?"

Peggy shrugged.

"Up until last week, it wasn't really a big concern. I always figured I'd tell him eventually, but now it just feels kind of like the wrong time. And yet, I want him to know why I feel so sad." She rubbed her elbows with her arms that were still folded. "Because I've been pregnant twice now, and have nothing to prove for it. There are two babies who never met me."

Peggy's chin began to tremble, and she folded her arms around herself tighter to hold back the flood of tears waiting to be shed. Don set his glass to the side as she started to realize she was fighting a losing battle.

When the first sob escaped, he opened his arms and she took the steps necessary to reach them before they wrapped around her. Don rubbed at her back in small circles until she was able to compose herself. When she finally had the strength to pull away, Don held her by the shoulders.

"Tomorrow is going to be easier," he told her with an assuredness no one else could muster.

It was that sentence that got her through the rest of the day until a knock at her office door snapped her out of her failed attempt at brainstorming taglines for the next Avon ad.

Ted was standing at her door in a tuxedo. In his arms was one of her fanciest dresses, still in the dry cleaning bag. It had been in the back of her closet. She wrinkled her forehead when one of her eyebrows raised.

"Remember in the diner when I hired you, I told you that your first night would end with the two of us at La Caravelle?"

"We got coffee and waited for one of the copywriters to pick up our order from the deli instead," she said with a sly smile, though it faded as he stared at her, waiting for her to figure it out.

"You didn't."

"I should have told you that I was going to take you out on your first day back."

"You got a reservation?" The restaurant in question was frequented by the Kennedy and Rockefeller families throughout the past decade. Getting a reservation was harder than scoring a car in the advertising business.

"For seven. Now get dressed - I hope this is okay. I saw it in the closet and wanted to see you in it." He held out the dress draped over his arm and she accepted it graciously.

Peggy got ready in the women's bathroom in record time. When she came back to her office in the black dress that accented every curve and ended right above the knee, he greeted her with wide eyes. She grinned as he swallowed and then opened his mouth, but didn't speak.

After a moment or two, he managed the word "beautiful".

She grasped his hand and he led her out of the building.

After stepping out of the cab in front of La Caravelle, a young boy bumped into Peggy as he was walking with his parents. Ted reached for her elbow when she faltered. The young boy looked up at Peggy, and she realized he couldn't have been more than 8 or 9 years old. His mother dragged him along quickly, apologizing over her shoulder to Peggy.

Ted laughed as he brought her into the restaurant.

"That boy looked a lot like Campbell, didn't he?"

Peggy started to turn around as if the boy had followed them in and she could take a closer look.

"Are you okay?" Ted asked her when she smoothed her dress out quickly and turned her attention forward again when she realized the child hadn't followed them inside. She looked at him and nodded forcefully.

The child occupied all of her thoughts as she drained three full glasses of wine, the first real drink she'd had since she'd found out she was pregnant. She wasn't swayed by the few articles that had come out warning mothers-to-be about drinking during pregnancy - she was just too nauseated to ever want a drink.

Ted talked about accounts and his sons coming that weekend, animated about taking them to Coney Island. He wanted to bring them on their first rollercoaster, which would be Peggy's first too. He mentioned something about the boys coming to stay more often, though Peggy didn't quite catch the details.

"Peggy," Ted started, when their plates were mostly empty. "I've been thinking," he said, before grabbing her hand. She turned her attention to him.

"I want to try again with you," he said. "I want us to have a family."

She thought immediately of the little boy who looked like Pete and felt a rush of guilt run over her. She bit the inside of her lip and nodded, only because she knew that was the response Ted was looking for.

He squeezed her hand. She looked down at her plate.

"Unless you don't want to have another baby," he said carefully, running his thumb over her knuckles. Peggy forced herself to look back up at him.

"No, it's not that. It's…" she paused. The story of her first pregnancy rested on the tip of her tongue. Ted watched her with concern. She felt a sob work its way up her chest; the idea of being honest was enough to bring her to tears. But she was so tired of crying lately. And crying in the middle of the most expensive dinner she'd ever had was a terrible idea.

"I had too much to drink, I think," she said, the words falling out with a stupid laugh at the end that surprised her.

Ted waved his hand for the check.

"We'll get you home, get you in bed," he said, rubbing her knuckles one more time before he let go of her hand to remove the napkin from his lap.

In the backseat of the cab on the way home, she kissed him after he rested his hand on her knee. She closed her eyes as he trailed kisses down from her jaw to her collarbone, trying to push the child out of her mind. As one of his hands crept up her thigh to caress her over her underwear and panty hose, she gasped, suddenly pulled from her thoughts. He whispered sweet nothings in her ear while she combed her fingers through his gelled hair and stared out the window at the lights passing by.

When he was still someone to chase, she could have sworn that Ted would be the missing piece for her. She never thought that even as he fondled her in the backseat of a taxi, she'd be wondering what her life could have been like. But even as he cupped her breast and kissed at her earlobe with all the passion she had fantasized about during late nights home alone in her apartment, she couldn't help but wonder how different things would have been if she had kept the little boy who looked like Pete Campbell.


	7. Chapter 7

_"He doesn't know you."_

Ted made love to her every single night for the next four weeks, sometimes as soon as they stepped into the apartment and dropped their briefcases, and others after dinner. Some nights he led her under the shower water that had been turned to cool to keep them from getting unbearably hot, and other nights, they wrapped themselves in the sheets that stuck to their glistening bodies.

The night before the Sunkist update meeting, they'd knocked off all the magnets from their fridge and Peggy's knees were still weak when she walked into the conference room the next morning.

"Sorry for running late," she told everyone, including a tanned Pete who sat inclined in a chair with an air of ease Peggy had never seen before.

She took the open seat between Pete and Ted. This put her across from Harry Crane, who was just as tan as Pete but not nearly as relaxed. Peggy offered him a smile and got nothing in return.

Bert sat at the head of the table, but Jim Cutler did most of the talking during the meeting, briefing the group on the success of Pete's leadership in California, as well as Harry's television campaign for Sunkist.

"We'd conference with Ken who's holding the fort down for us, but he hasn't even woken up yet," Pete said with a chuckle when Jim suggested informing him of the good news.

Everyone laughed and went to stand, but Harry cleared his throat. Since he hadn't spoken yet during the meeting, everyone paused to look at him.

"The TV spot is doing much better than expected," he said.

Immediately, Roger cut him off.

"Look, if you're going to ask for a promotion, save your air. You're overseeing one client. No one else is looking for extended media spots."

"But what I've done has -"

"Harry, you're not going to be asked to be a partner regardless of how much money you end up making for us with Sunkist." Bert leaned back in his chair.

"But you'll promote the girl who's fucked two of her bosses?" Harry threw his hand in Peggy's direction. Her cheeks immediately felt hot, as she became aware of everyone's gaze directed on her. She could feel Ted's eyes on her more than anyone else's and she was sure that he was now picturing her spread on Don's couch, her hose around her knees and Don's pants around his ankles, her work that he'd praised fanned out on the coffee table.

Peggy watched Don open his mouth and then say nothing, choosing instead to purse his lips while he shook his head. He didn't look nearly as embarrassed as she was sure she did, rather just angry. But she knew as well as he did that he was still on a probation since he came back, and he couldn't risk putting his foot in his mouth.

"I can assure you that Peggy has earned her position with integrity," Jim said after a few moments.

"Yeah, that's 'cause she's not following you into your office," Harry said, eyeing Don and Ted.

"You do know that all of the success you've had with Sunkist is from ads I helped write," Peggy started, suddenly finding her voice. "And yet you think I didn't earn Copy Chief?"

Harry faltered.

"You should probably head back to Los Angeles, Harry," Bert said. "And hope that we don't find someone with an idea of how to treat their superiors that can negotiate as well as you."

Leaving the meeting was arguably more uncomfortable for Peggy, having to avoid the glances of a fuming Harry, and Don who may have seemed guilty if he caught her gaze. The only look she exchanged was with Ted as they exited, the beginning lines of a fight neither of them wanted to have at work struggling against their clenched jaws. She watched him storm into his office as everyone skittered in opposite directions out of the conference room door like marbles spilled out of a bag. He shut the door behind him.

Peggy retreated to her own office, holding back the urge to drive her foot into the column as she walked around it. Part of her wanted to storm into Ted's office and scream at him for not defending her, and the other part of her wanted to storm into Don's office and start a search for Harry's replacement with him. But doing anything behind closed doors with Don wasn't going to make him look good and Ted had probably locked himself in his office, so she settled for kicking back a whiskey before heading to the creatives.

"Oh thank God," Ginsberg said to her when she entered the room. He was hunched over the work with a permanent expression of panic, while Stan held a blunt between his fingers. From the looks of his eyes, Peggy was sure it wasn't anywhere near his first of the day.

"What did Don reject this time?" Peggy playfully asked, taking a seat next to Ginsberg, glancing over at the papers held in his hands. He was wrinkling them.

"Oh, Avon," she said with a laugh.

"It doesn't help us out when you just tell us to research shades of red," Stan offered, puffing smoke out in front of his face.

"Fine, okay. I'll help you out," she said with an air of dramatics that caused Stan to snort and Ginsberg to hand over what little work they'd done as if it were a cat he was deathly allergic to.

Peggy lost track of time as she bounced ideas off of Stan and Ginsberg while they ate sandwiches from the cart and sipped gin from tumblers dirtied with fingerprints that multiplied by the hour.

Moira knocked on the doorframe, causing everyone in the room to jump a bit. She waited until Peggy was staring at her to speak.

"Mr. Chaough left about an hour ago, and asked me to let you know before I headed home."

Peggy raised her eyebrows.

"Did he say where he was going?"

"Home - he was feeling ill."

Moira escaped before Peggy could question her further, slipping out of sight behind the wall.

"I guess I should go," Peggy said, glancing behind her at the clock on the wall. It was after six.

"I'll walk you out," Stan offered. When they reached the elevator, Stan adjusted his stance.

"You don't need anywhere to stay, do you?"

Peggy tried to hide her uncertainty of what she was going to return home to.

"Why would you -"

"You two have left together every day since he came back to New York," Stan said, cutting her off. He seemed to smirk afterwards, but only for a second.

"He's just feeling badly," Peggy told him rigidly. "I'm sure he just needed to lie down."

She repeated that mantra to herself until she was standing in front of her own front door. She inhaled deeply and then shoved the key into the door handle, flinching at the sound of metal scraping.

She opened the door and stepped inside, peering around the corner to where the light poured from presumably the chandelier over the dining room table. Sure enough, Ted was at the table, picking at dinner for one.

"Are you still sick?" Peggy asked carefully when Ted didn't turn away from his plate after she rounded the corner.

"I'm sick of wondering what's going on between you and Don," Ted told her, still clutching his fork. He stared at the picture hanging across from him on the wall.

"There's nothing going on!" She shouted, causing Ted to turn in his seat so he was facing her.

"Then why couldn't either of you even look at each other after that meeting? Huh? Why didn't he defend you if Harry was wrong?"

"Why didn't you defend me?" Peggy was already seething.

"Because I don't think you deserve defending. There's something weird between you two."

"You know, just because you've sworn him as your enemy doesn't mean you get to chastise me for not seeing him that way." She folded her arms.

Ted stood and pushed in his chair abruptly. The glass on the table rocked back once and then fell, spilling his drink out across the table. Peggy watched the liquid spread uncontrollably, tuning out most of what Ted was saying until the end when his voice raised a few notches.

"You even asked for him in the hospital, when it should have been just the two of us. Do you understand how weird that was for me, to have Don Draper there comforting my girlfriend in the hospital after we'd just lost our baby?"

"He came to the hospital the first time," she said with a shrug, suddenly realizing that the explanation was simple. Ted would stop overreacting if he knew the truth. That, and she liked the idea of breaking it to him casually rather than revealing how many cracks it'd caused behind her tough facade.

He furrowed his brow.

"I uh… I had a baby right after I got promoted to Junior Copywriter. I was gone completely unannounced, but Don came to visit in the hospital. He was the only one who was there for me after I gave up my baby. Without him, I don't know what I would have done." Peggy could feel herself choke up.

"And that's why we're close," she continued. "And that's why I left and ran to you. I could take disrespect and harsh treatment from a boss, but I couldn't handle it coming from my best friend. So I left."

She watched Ted carefully, who had flushed during her speech, holding his mouth open slightly as if he were on the edge of saying something. She blinked back the tears that stung her eyes.

"Was it his?" he finally managed.

Peggy shook her head.

Ted nodded and stared at the floor. Peggy watched him as her stomach filled with nervous butterflies. When he laughed, she could feel them swarm.

"And here we go again," he said, narrowing his eyes at her. "Here's where I feel like an idiot and Don ends up knowing more about you than I ever did. You didn't tell me anything, like it's some secret between you two."

Peggy felt sick.

"I can't believe you," she said, only a bit louder than a whisper.

With that, she turned on her heel, opening the apartment door as Ted called her name. Before she remembered to grab her purse, she slammed the door full force and broke out into a run that lasted until she got to the bottom of the stairs in the building.

She was heaving breaths when she got outside, taking a brisk walk for a few blocks as tears streamed down her face. The city lights had come on and the sky lit up orange behind the heavy clouds that had rolled in shortly after she'd left work.

It wasn't until she stopped in an alleyway and put her hands on her knees to catch her breath that she truly began to cry. Angry tears rolled down her cheeks as she openly sobbed, deciding to ignore the fact that whoever lived in the buildings she was standing between could hear her.

She thought of holding Don's head in her lap after he'd gotten sick from too many drinks on the night of Cassius Clay's fight between images of kissing Ted, the remnants of the original sparks still traveling down her spine. She thought of Don's eyes when he reassured her in the hospital, and Ted's when they hit cruising altitude in his plane on the way home from the Ocean Spray meeting with Pete.

But then her thoughts trailed to Ted's fingers splayed out over her pregnant belly and all of the happy plans they'd made with the notion that they'd be a family.

She instantly felt regret.

Thunder hit and Peggy stared at the sky as a light began to slowly fall. She inhaled deeply and slowly began to walk back towards home.

She was damp and her hair was falling by the time she took refuge in the apartment building, sliding into an open elevator before the doorman could stop her and offer a towel. She took a deep breath to quell the nervousness in her stomach. She was afraid of him insisting on immediate makeup sex, of rejection, and mostly of being unsure which one to prepare for.

When she got to the door, she knocked with a trembling hand, realizing that she probably looked pathetic - standing there without a purse and running makeup.

The door opened and he looked over her with a raised eyebrow. She pushed her drooping bangs away from her eyes.

"I'm sorry I ran away," she said, with more confidence than she had been able to muster in months.

The sound of thunder outside echoed through the hall as Don smiled knowingly and then opened the door wider for her to come in.


End file.
